Like Taking Candy from a Baby

Forget saving the world for a second. 

Forget that beautiful town you wandered into on your journey - the one where waterfalls encased the entire area and great pillars of pure white marble stood glittering in the sun and it immediately took your breath away. Forget that lonely farmers' village where the people cowered in fear day and night because a savage monster terrorized them by eating their crops and making off with their precious livestock; and forget your resolve to help them. Forget your last epic battle at the bottom of the mountain and what seemed like endless hours of strategic moves, failing and finally besting that flying monstrosity.

You’re such a good person, right? You’re the hero. You deserve all that praise and fanfare because it sure as hell doesn’t seem that anyone else but you and your band of misfits is going to do anything about the oppressors, correct?

Nope.

Remember instead that you’re the bastard who just went into the orphanage two towns back there and opened up that closed treasure chest!

You didn’t even think twice about opening it up because you were hoping for a healing herb, didn't you? Did it ever cross your mind that you were stealing from the very same unfortunate children you are trying to protect?

Well, maybe the thought crossed your mind...

But the lure of a red, closed chest and/or brown box and its possible amazing contents is just too great.

Besides, those orphans aren’t going to need that agility seed. Meh, they’re not going to save themselves anyway, right?

So you open it...and can you believe the nerve of those jerks? The chests were actually filled with clothes and not the kind you could use for defense either.

No. Plain old orphan’s clothes donated by a princess. And the game made it a point to tell you exactly what was in there too.

Why? Was that supposed to make you feel bad that you tried to take candy from a baby?

Oh, whatever.

There are a lot of other towns for you to go pillage scattered around the world map anyway.

And you do it because you can.

I was playing Breath of Fire IV when for some reason I hesitated opening the chests at the orphanage in a town I just visited (all other examples of villages are just the various types I could think of that I have encountered some where along the way while playing years of JRPGS). I know very well the chests are there to be opened and that’s half the fun (getting a curt message or possible weirdo item) but it reminded me of that one time someone called me out on my thievery. 

I believe it was FFVII when an old man challenged my breaking into his house by asking me point blank if I opened up his cupboard and took the item inside. I denied and he was angry. Ultimately, he gave me the contents anyway because at the end of the day, that item was going to help me more than it would him. Do you guys have any other recollection of a similar situation? I’m sure you love it just as much as I do being able to waltz into someone’s house and start stealing their stuff. It’s just too much fun!

"Like Taking Candy from a Baby" originally appeared on Talk Amongst Yourselves on April 22, 2013.